10 Signs He’s Just Not That Into You (Like, At All)

November 25, 2016 by Violet Benson

You consider yourself a smart, independent woman. You make good choices for the most part and you’re always there for your friends. You give the BEST dating advice. Yet here you are, questioning yourself, stalking some guy’s social media platforms for clues, reading his horoscope, listening to sad songs, wasting so much of your day because you just can’t tell whether he likes you or not! UGH. Why can’t he just come out and tell you!!??!? I know, it’s super frustrating, but boys are stupid so you can’t expect too much from them. (Do I sound bitter? Lol. Enough about me. Let’s get back to you and your imaginary relationship instead.)

Before we begin, if you find yourself reading this article because some boy is giving you mixed signals, allow me to give you some priceless advice: RUN!!!! Let’s be honest, if he was into you, you wouldn’t be Googling articles about whether or not he’s into you. But hey! It’s your life and maybe you’re just really into the pain…

Below are ten definite signs that he is just not that into you.

1 .He needs constant attention

At first it may seem sweet that he needs so much attention from you, but as time goes on, you’ll come to realize that he needs a lot of attention in general. Like, from everyone. This is around the moment when you should ask yourself whether he actually likes you, or he’s just another attention craving whore.

2 .He’s always texting or messaging other women.

If he is into you, he will cherish the time you spend together and he won’t jeopardize it by talking to other women. Period. If the list of other women he’s talking to is long, it’s an indicator that he’s insecure and needy. It is then up to you to decide whether you are looking to date a little boy or a man you can actually build a future with.

3 .He’s open with you about other women.

When he insists on telling you about the other women in his life, you might think: WOW he’s being so honest—gotta respect that! But the reality is that men bring up other women to emphasize that they aren’t that serious about you. It’s a mechanism for pushing you away by hinting that whatever you’ve got going on isn’t going anywhere. But cheer up, Buttercup! He might not be that into you, but he’s not that into any of those other girls, either. What he’s into is the attention!

4 .He never asks about your day.

This one is very simple. If a man likes you, he wants to know more about you. If he doesn’t care to check in—to ask a few thoughtful questions about how your day went or what’s new with you, then he’s putting no effort into getting to know you. Especially as time goes on, if he’s keeping all of your conversations light instead of asking you more meaningful questions, he is just not that into you.

5 .He never talks about his day.

If he is not opening up to you and sharing information about himself, it’s a bright red flag. There’s a big difference between knowing things about someone and knowing them. If he offers you nothing more than the bare minimum—like where he’s from, what he does for a living, and other pointless little details you could find on his LinkedIn page—then he is most likely not that into you.

6 .You always find yourself contacting him first.


If you’re always the one reaching out because you’re secretly afraid that you won’t ever speak again otherwise, he is clearly not that invested in the relationship. You may start to question yourself and think that you’re being needy but the reality is that when two people like each other, they actually want to talk to one another! No excuses.

7 .He takes too long to get back to you or to set up a date.

When you’re with him, he is always on his phone. Yet when you text him, he’s too busy to respond…. Hmmmmm.

If he doesn’t call you, keeps his messages short, takes hours or days to respond to your texts and/or calls and sometimes just doesn’t get back to you at all, even after promising that he will, he is definitely not that into you.

If he is constantly too busy but somehow has time for his friends, cancels plans with you at the last minute, blows you off when you try to make plans and never sets an actual time to see you, then he is just not that into you. If you only see him on his terms and that usually consists of last minute plans, then you are most likely his last resort.

8 .He never hits you up to hang out during the day, only at 2AM to “chill.”

This is another simple and super easy sign that he’s too dumb to appreciate how awesome you are. If it walks like a pig and talks like a pig, then it is most likely my EX (but also whatever dude you are currently wasting your time on). If he is not taking you out on dates, if he makes no effort to see you during the day, if he doesn’t care to introduce you to his friends, if he only calls you when his night is over at 2 AM, then he is just not that into you.

9 .He’s not eating you out.

I know what you’re thinking…. Is this a joke? Is this some kind of metaphor? Nope! It’s not! I am actually talking about him eating your sushi bar—a.k.a. your pink taco, your happy meal, your vagina. (Anyone else hungry now? Because same. I want tacos!) Seriously, though, if he isn’t going down on you, he probably doesn’t care about satisfying you. Other key signs that he’s a selfish asshole are that he refuses to look at your beautiful face during intercourse, he doesn’t kiss you all that much, or he shows no sign of caring whether or not you orgasm.

10 .You’re always wondering.

If a man is interested in you, he makes it obvious. You don’t have to wonder because he’ll make it abundantly clear. When a man likes a woman, he’ll do anything to get her attention. So stop making excuses for whichever man forced you to read this article. It’s not that he’s too busy, too shy, or too intimidated. It’s not that you did anything wrong to make him angry, that he’s “going through a tough time right now and needs space,” or whatever other excuse you’ve told yourself. Trust the inner voice that’s making you question why you ever liked him in the first place. If he were into you, you’d know.

The next time you think of hitting him up or he hits you up just for the attention, ask yourself this: Are you a dirty towel that dude can just use and then throw on the floor until they need it again? Your answer better be NO! Step away from this disaster before your self-esteem is completely non-existent.

If you’ve given it your all and it’s still not enough, then learn to let it go. Know when it is time to give up on someone and move on before you waste all your time and energy on someone who doesn’t deserve you. Remind yourself what a wonderful and unique individual you are and how anyone would be lucky to have you and then ask yourself why you are wasting your time on someone who doesn’t care to acknowledge how amazing you are! Move on and find someone who actually deserves you and your precious time.