Hey besties!!

This is your big sister violetta and you are reading a short blog based on a recent episode we just did on my podcast, Almost Adulting – your number one podcast for mental health and dating. 

I wanted to cover how to tap into our feminine energy which is very important when it comes to dating.

And I knowwww before you snap my head off, its not the type of feminine energy you think. This isn’t a gender or sex thing. It’s not going to be me telling you to wear all pink and shave your legs and cook him dinner followed by getting on your knees to gargle his balls like a good girl. That’s not what tapping into your feminine energy means.

I think a lot of people get confused about this and its something I’ve noticed when I was on red table talk with some men who called themselves dating experts that got it completely wrong. It made me realize how much I wanted to do my own research so I can discuss it today. So we can tap into it before we enter lovers month.

Many of us independent fierce women… we live in our masculine energy as a way to protect ourselves. We cant tap into our divine feminine energy unless the masculine provides us with feeling safe which can be difficult for many of us who grew up believing that love is hard, that we had to work to be loved instead of it just coming to us. Even if this wasn’t the environment you grew up in, we’ve all experienced as women being surrounded by certain men that tried taking advantage of us, tricked us, where words and actions didn’t match, where the same people who were meant to protect us were the ones to hurt us. So with all of that, as we’ve gotten older we become more jaded, less trusting, more defensive, more closed off but also the doer, the one to take charge because no one else will, the problem solver. and all of that ends up manifesting in our lives and our surroundings.

We all have masculine and feminine energy but sometimes one side overpowers the other..

if you have more masculine energy, you may find it hard to stop working and letting go of control. But you also don’t want to be overly in your feminine energy either because that can make you too needy, dependent on others, struggling to make decisions or get things done, and revolve your whole existence around a man. That’s not good either. It needs to be balanced. 

When these energies are balanced, we experience a greater sense of harmony and fulfillment. When they’re misaligned, we feel more friction and stressed in our everyday life

It’s a delicate balance being able to embrace both which is what we will be discussing today and how these energies show up in your life.. especially in your dating which makes dating VERY HARD

A lot of people don’t really understand the meaning of masculine and feminine energy in women and men and think it has to do with our gender slash sex like if I build my furniture and watch sports then I’m in my masculine energy. But that’s not what it means at all.

It’s not about your hobbies or how you dress, its about how you present yourself and carry yourself

Being in your divine masculine energy isn’t bad when it comes to your goals, work, studies, and so on

·       It means you’re independent

·       Have a Powerful Presence.

·       Assertive, Ambitious. Competitive, Driven, and a Go getter.

·       Logical and analytical with a Clarity Focus.

·       Generosity of Heart.

·       Big thinker. You know what you want and you get shit done. 

·       You are tough with a Fiercely Protective Instinct.

We all should have both regardless of your gender. But I think unfortunately it doesn’t translate as well in our personal life and dating life. When we have overpwering masculine energy that’s overflowing we end up attracting men or partners with either their own masculine energy which makes us butt heads since we both try to lead or we attract a partner with an overflowing feminine energy and become their caretakers.

For me personally, I love being the boss at work but I’m way too tired to also be the boss in the relationship. I want a relationship where someone listens to me, holds me, is romantic with me, treats me like a princess, makes me feel safe and protected but although that’s what I want… it’s not what I’m attracting.

So when you want to attract a man that’s a provider, when you’re in your masculine energy… you end up attracting a man that’s kind of a provider. Where he provides you with problems and no solutions. So not that type of provider you originally were hoping for. He’s not a doer because that’s you. That’s what you do. You end up baby’ing them while also trying to take care of yourself. You attract men that take so you’re unable to sit back and receive. you have to be the one to give. If you don’t do it, then it wont get done.

For example I was dating a man who dumped me because he felt like things were moving too fast and then he cried in my arms about dumping me for two days. So I sat there nurturing him, holding him, and making him feel better for dumping ME in between my meetings. The mind fuck of that. How could I cater to my own feelings when he had so many of his own that he was dumping on me.

When you’re in your overflowing masculine energy, you bring on more anxiety and stress in your life. You want to fix everything and everyone and you have a need to be in control. you know what you want and you go after it, whether it’s the man you want or the date you expect him to give you. You’re defensive, aggressive, less likely to compromise, dominating and assertive. You chase instead of sit back and allow things to come to you. You’re competitive, reactive to anger and rage and shutting down.  You lack intimacy and refuse to show vulnerability.

You experience burn out faster and you complain and nag more often about it but instead of feeling the pain and working through it, you’re more focused on just being negative and complaining about it for the sake of complaining.

I feel like I’m always attracting more feminine energy guys and then it ends up being all about them. Me catering to them. Me telling them what to do. me protecting them. . which is interesting because although that’s what I attract, I actually want the opposite. I want a man to protect me.

.

So when you tap into your feminine energy, not only are you able to manifest easier all the things that you want, because it’s coming from a place of “I deserve this” versus “I need this” but you attract partners who are able to take care of you.

The energy I am referring to, comes from within and it’s your manifesting energy and what you attract.

When you tap into you feminine energy, you’re able to sit back and relax and allow things to come to you. You allow things to come and go. You live in the present. You don’t chase men, they pursue you. You don’t force things to happen, you walk away if they’re not for you because you know there’s something better out there.

The Divine Feminine is often associated with fertility, creativity, and intuition. And healing. Activating the Divine Feminine qualities of love, compassion, empathy, emotional bonding, inner peace and calm, creates space for the union of subtle energies both individually and collectively

It taps into your right side of the brain and helps you be more creative and intuited with your emotions. Tapping into your intuition allows you to make better decisions and trusting your gut. Being vulnerable and honest with yourself which shows your emotional strength. You enjoy the journey of life rather than anxiously wait for the outcome instead. You communicate instead of shut down. You receive instead of constantly give till you have nothing left.

It makes you nurturing, gentle, peaceful, vulnerable, and open which is what attracts others to you. 

The fun thing about your feminine energy is that there’s dark feminine energy and the soft/light feminine energy. 

I personally love playing around with both but I will say its easier for me to tap into my dark feminine and wild energy since I tend to be a bit more in my masculine energy and I think its basically you staying in that masculine energy but just channeling it a bit differently. Like more with your body than with your words. It comes more natural to me. Both are fun which I will dive deeper into in the next blog so make sure to tune in 🙂