The Truth About Meeting The Right Person At The Wrong Time

June 21, 2017 by Violet Benson

So you meet someone and they’re amazing—you connect instantly, you can’t stop smiling, you can’t stop giggling—and no, it’s not because you’ve had 7 tequila shots. It’s because this person sparks something in you that you forgot was there. They make you feel alive, and suddenly, all the lyrics to every stupid love song start to make sense.

There are SO many signs that you two were meant to be together, from your horoscope that said you might meet someone special in the next 20 years, to the fact that your menstrual cycle is totally in sync with your recently married BFF’s. ALL THE SIGNS ARE THERE.

And then bam! Almost every time, something happens outside your control to shatter your dreams about this perfect person. Whether it’s that things are moving too fast or that they started a new job or that they were just sentenced to life in prison for murder, whatever it may be, THE TIMING IS JUST WRONG.

Or so you tell yourself.

You call your friends and they give you the same old shitty advice: “He’s just not ready for everything you have to offer”…“He’s not calling because he doesn’t want you to know how obsessed he is with you”…“It’s only been 12 years since he got out of that bad relationship, he still needs time to heal”… UGH ENOUGH WITH THE LIES.

What your friends are actually too afraid to tell you is that, the person you can’t stop thinking about is just NOT THAT INTO YOU.

When someone passes you up because the timing is wrong, what they’re really saying is, “Hey, I think you’re great and I like you… but just not enough to date you. I would love it if you could hang around while I keep my options open, just in case I can’t find anything better.”

The truth is: When you meet the right person at the wrong time, they’re actually just the wrong person. When the right person will come into your life, it will always be the right time because the right people are timeless.

*****

Awhile back, I met a boy and things immediately felt right. We had an instant connection, I adored him, and I let my guard down, sharing things I hadn’t shared with anyone else before. It felt like I had known him my whole life even though we had just met. The only explanation I had for this was that he was obviously my soulmate (a phenomenon I never believed in until I met him).

And then bam! He put the brakes on, telling me that the timing wasn’t right since he was starting a new job that would be super time-consuming. He suggested that we slow it down and work on our friendship (which also conveniently gave him the space he needed to bang a bunch of girls).

At first, I thought to myself, If only we’d met a year from now…Just my luck… I meet the perfect guy (mind you, I barley knew him) and the timing is all wrong. It didn’t even occur to me that he JUST WASN’T THAT INTO ME.

Fast forward a few months after Mr. Soulmate friend zoned me while I felt like I was ready for something serious, a man I’ll call Prince Charming swooped into my life. He was perfect and everything was going smoothly….

And then bam! Two weeks in, I suddenly felt like I wasn’t ready—that things were getting way too serious way too fast (mind you, we hadn’t even kissed), and omg why was he texting me ALL the time, didn’t he know I was busy hanging out with my cat?!

I told him we should slow down, work on our friendship, and that I needed some time to work on myself before I could focus on anyone else. (sounds familiar eh)

That’s when it finally dawned on me: It wasn’t about timing, it was just that I wasn’t that into Prince Charming and that I never would be for whatever reason. The way I felt about Prince Charming was the same way Mr. Soulmate had felt about me.

*****

The saddest part about meeting someone you believe will be in your future is realizing that they don’t see you in their future. It’s much easier to accept the bad timing excuse than it is to admit that just because you love someone, it doesn’t mean they have to love you back.

How sad is it to chase someone who doesn’t see how wonderful you are—someone who takes your beautiful smile for granted, who doesn’t adore your flaws, who doesn’t hold you and love you the way you deserve to be loved?

Love should never be so painful that you find yourself lying awake at night wondering if you’re enough, feeling too scared to say how you really feel, wanting to hear their voice but being afraid to call because you don’t want to come off needy, or crying yourself to sleep wondering why he hasn’t called and if he’s out with someone else.

With the right person, you’ll never have to question their love, because you’ll just know. You’ll know that no matter what you thought you wanted before, this is better. Everything is better since they came along.

Because the truth is, my dear, that there is no such thing as wrong timing; you’re just meeting all the wrong people.

LEAVE A COMMMENT
27 COMMENTS
  • Doufree
    June 21, 2017 / Reply

    If you’re going to start being rational then I’m going to have to rethink this whole reading your blog thing.

  • Sarah
    June 21, 2017 / Reply

    This is amazing! You are my spirit animal. Write a book and I’ll add some chapter

  • Emily
    June 21, 2017 / Reply

    Hi Violet! I just wanted to let you know that your new blog post hit me right in the FEELS. Thank you SO much for posting this!

  • Emily
    June 21, 2017 / Reply

    Hi Violet! I just wanted to let you know that your new blog post hit me right in the FEELS. Thank you SO much for posting this!!

  • Chance
    June 21, 2017 / Reply

    Spot on.
    Great read

  • Sandy M
    June 21, 2017 / Reply

    I love this so much and I really needed this read. Thank you so much for posting

  • Spencer
    June 21, 2017 / Reply

    So how close to feeling the same about each other do you have to be?
    Cause it isn’t always 100% feeling the same about each other.

    • Violet Benson
      June 21, 2017 / Reply

      Relationships take work and of course some days one partner may put in 80% into the relationship while other days only 20% but as long as there’s love there and you’re both on the same page, you communicate, are loyal to one another, and don’t play games, I’d say you’re in the clear.

  • April
    June 21, 2017 / Reply

    Violet.. thank you for sharing this! So much wisdom. Sucks that experience, and mainly the not-so-good kind is how we gain strength. I choose to remain willing and teachable, but also guarded. Have a great rest of your week- you’re such an inspiration!

    April M.
    Huntsville, AL

  • Crystal
    June 21, 2017 / Reply

    Terrible article. Meeting the right person at the wrong time has nothing to do with the fact that you suck **** you being someone who sucks ****** and someone who sucks to someone in particular not to everyone —— just to be clear

  • Adam
    June 21, 2017 / Reply

    Amazing, the things we tell ourselves to protect ourselves, altering our reality… perception is reality but our perception is skewed by our history emotions and self preservation.
    You’ve cut through it all eloquently… thank you… I’ll be overthinking your blog all night. 😉

  • Brie
    June 21, 2017 / Reply

    Ugh!! I needed this. Would of been more useful back in October. Before I got knocked up by my Mr. Soulmate. Lol. But love your blog and all that you do. You’re my spirit animal. Xoxo

  • Marie
    June 21, 2017 / Reply

    Agree x 10. But what if that person is in another state? ‍♀️

  • Julaya
    June 21, 2017 / Reply

    Excellent blog. Very profound and emotional. Thanks for sharing.

  • Humphrey
    June 22, 2017 / Reply

    This is just wrong. Selfish attitude, no awareness, 6th grade writing level. My goodness. I guess it is on Daddy Issues. Far from profound, this is someone who has no real knowledge or education, obviously relying on personal experience alone for growth and revelation. Grow up, get perspective.

    • Barbara
      June 22, 2017 / Reply

      How is this wrong. If you dont like it then dont read it

    • Val
      June 22, 2017 / Reply

      Delete your account

  • Amy
    June 22, 2017 / Reply

    Love it ! Keep it up Violet nice perspective.

  • www.therantingsoftesolil.com
    June 22, 2017 / Reply

    Omg! This article. Absolutely amazing. So much truth.

  • Admirer
    June 22, 2017 / Reply

    If only I read this 2 years ago when I was dealing with a guy who didn’t think was “the right time” and kept me hanging around anyway. Thank you for the blog, Violet! You are truly inspiring and gifted! Love you!

  • Alyssa
    June 22, 2017 / Reply

    Thank you so much for posting this! It’s exactly what I (and I’m sure many other ladies out there) needed to hear right about now! Xo

  • Isha
    June 22, 2017 / Reply

    Awesome! It felt like you were reading my mind! Really! This is exactly how i feel and how i think love should be and about wrong people and wrong timings.

  • Barbara
    June 22, 2017 / Reply

    I needed this. Thank you so much. It was amazing and spot on. Please write more

  • Allie Pechuli
    June 22, 2017 / Reply

    Exactly what I needed to read. But why!!! Ahh. This hurts but it’s the truth. Thanks violet, love ya girl.

  • Karsen Rigby
    June 22, 2017 / Reply

    Didn’t realize you were hilarious AND profound. Nice work.

  • Taylor Ward
    June 23, 2017 / Reply

    funny, energetic, relatable and well written! keep at it, girl

  • Mon
    July 8, 2017 / Reply

    This is so true. Spot on and all I have met are the wrong guys who never see me in their future. Thanks for slapping me right on my face. XX