Mr. Perfect

July 1, 2018 by Violet Benson

Mr. Perfect, will you please come off of your high horse and sit down with me?

I know you’re busy pointing out everyone’s flaws so you don’t have to focus on yourself, but I just want to talk.

Will you listen?

I know you love the sound of your own voice but promise me you’ll try.

Please have a seat and let’s have a drink while you try to fix me. Oh wait, never mind—you can’t have a drink without relapsing. I forgot, Mr. perfect. My apologies.

Always looking over your shoulder for the next best thing, you actually think you deserve whatever you please. I mean why not? After all, you’re Mr. perfect.

You’re so emotionally unavailable and lost. Yet, here you are trying to guide everyone else. But where are we going, Mr. perfect? Oh wait, you don’t know. Then why the f*ck are you leading?

If I had a dollar for every time you brought up your ex, I would buy my own drinks. Why would you think comparing me to her would make me feel good? Why would you think putting another woman down would make you look good?

Mr. Perfect, I finally figured you out. You always leave before they leave you. Does it hurt less that way? Does it make it easier for you to sleep at night? Or are you slowly breaking inside, knowing that no one ever really tries to stay?

Please remind me again how I don’t love myself even though you’re the one who’s been depressed and I’m the one who’s been there to lift you up. Tell me about how special I am today but how boring I am tomorrow. Remind me again how my expectations are too high when all I wanted was for you to ask about my day. Whoops, silly me, we’re only allowed to talk about you… After all, the sun rises and sets just for you.

Oh, Mr. perfect, today you want me but tomorrow you’re over me. Today you can’t get enough of my naked body, but tomorrow your insecure heart is searching for attention somewhere else. I’m sorry for being so confused. Please be patient with me, I’m doing my best to keep up.

You’re just so smart and wise. You really do know everything, don’t you Mr. Perfect? Well except how to love, that is.

You’re blowing up my phone, but I’m the needy one. You send me photos all day long, but I’m the one that craves constant validation. You lean on me for laughs so you can forget just how empty you are inside, but I’m the insecure one. Please tell me again how I bring more bad than good, and how I’m not worth the fight. Because I thought I was.

You pretend to be so perfect but I see now that you’re not. How will you ever find love if no one is ever good enough? Are your unrealistic standards just too high? Or is it that you just don’t love yourself enough to accept someone else’s love?

Oh, Mr. perfect, you tricked me and used my secrets against me. Instead of learning how to love me, you were busy tearing me apart. You dumped your negativity onto me and I took it, because you made me believe I deserved it. How twisted are you. Always over-analyzing, trying to control the situation, pointing out my flaws as if I don’t already see them, hanging on my every word, and waiting for me to fail. I didn’t realize love was about manipulating and fighting to have the upper hand.

But you see, Mr. Perfect, I knew you came broken. I could read you like a book— I saw chapters in you where you saw empty pages, and every day I couldn’t wait to read more. I found your flaws endearing, I was willing to take you as you are. To me, your flaws and your pain made you that much more beautiful, inside and out. Too bad you couldn’t do the same with me.

Damn, Mr. Perfect, you got in my head and under my skin. I’ve never met anyone like you before. Like one of your songs, you played me and now I can never listen to that song again.

Every time you looked at me, it was as if you saw right through me. That scared me. I didn’t like it. You’re so good with your words. You’re so good at pretending to care, so good that I almost fell for you. But I learned my lesson. I don’t want you looking at me anymore. I don’t want you talking to me anymore. I just want you to leave.

But you’re already gone. I guess I made that pretty easy. You challenged my self-sabotaging ways; you told me that love was too hard with me, so I proved you right. So there, you win. I gave up.  Just like you predicted, I pushed you away. And here I am, all alone, writing this poem.

And I feel like such a fool for thinking you were different—for being too blind to see I wasn’t the only one standing in front of you, for believing you liked me for me, and for wanting us to be something. You’re just an insecure mean little boy who needs a lot of attention while you’re busy finding yourself. And I’m just a stupid naïve little girl for thinking you could be my prince charming. Because fairytales don’t exist—you reminded me of that.

I hope you find all the laughter and love you’re looking for, Mr. Rockstar. I hope you find yourself and figure out how to fill that void you feel inside. I hope you find your soulmate and I hope she’s as perfect as you are.

I’m sorry I couldn’t meet your standards. I’m sorry you weren’t able to fix me. I’m sorry you’re clearly hurting and I’m sorry I won’t be around for you to knock me down so you can feel better about yourself.

Most of all, though, I’m not sorry that we met, because you showed me exactly who I don’t want to become. I could never be as heartless as you. I may feel a lot, I may be intense at times, but I like me just the way I am. And one day, I will find someone who feels the same way.

One of these days on these American nights, when you’re all alone and you’ve got no one left to sing along, you’ll come back and try to play my song, but I’m so sorry, because this melody is broken and you’re the one that played me wrong.

  • Alex H.
    July 1, 2018 / Reply

    Woah. That was incredible, so perfectly worded… I can’t even begin to describe it. And the last stanza, girl you really caught me in my feels there. Thanks for sharing your wonderful work!! I truly cannot wait to see what you post next.

  • Katie
    July 1, 2018 / Reply

    This was absolutely perfect. Something I needed to read and didn’t even know it! Girl, great fucking job 28 – First blog post I’ve ever read beginning to end and I can’t wait to read what you post next!!

  • JC
    July 1, 2018 / Reply

    your mr perfect post was perfect. it put into words the thoughts and feelings so many women have, myself included. thank you

  • Natali
    July 1, 2018 / Reply

    Oh. My. Fucking. God. I just read Mr. Perfect, and I just wanted to take the time to thank you from the bottom of my heart for writing that poem. I’ve been in an on-off “relationship” for the last 5 months with a guy that’sexactly how you wrote, and my heart and my mind just exploted.

  • Kelsey
    July 1, 2018 / Reply

    I fucking love this. Somehow you wrote exactly what I’ve been feeling! I wish you the best in life because you deserve it! Xoxo

  • A
    July 1, 2018 / Reply

    Oh wow, I’ve been dating that mr perfect on and off for several years. He comes and goes as he pleases and he is exactly how you described him. It’s like a release to read that I’m not the only one who’s been a victim to that guy. Thank you for this, you’re an amazing writer.

  • Irene
    July 1, 2018 / Reply

    The poem is so great! I really loved it
    I’m in that kind of relationship right know and your poem helped me a lot

  • Kirsten bitch
    July 1, 2018 / Reply

    Amazing! Thanks for writing my exes and I’s story sorry you had to date a narcissistic God too. Xoxo

  • Rachel
    July 1, 2018 / Reply

    ❤️❤️ good job!!

  • Sam
    July 2, 2018 / Reply

    Got me right in the feels, holy crap. That’s rung alarm bells for me regarding my new guy… thanks for the dose of sanity. Xxx

  • Marie
    July 2, 2018 / Reply

    I mean, woach…. This poem literally brought tears to my eyes. These are the words I’ve been looking for for at least two years. You make our lives better, Benson. You really do. Amazed. Love xx

  • Meg S.
    July 2, 2018 / Reply

    Took the words we were thinking, and perfectly explained them. Well done!

  • Dani K
    July 2, 2018 / Reply

    Painfully relatable, but at the same time I feel at ease after reading this, as you’ve put things into perspective for me. In love with this piece ♥️

  • Eve Stoogie
    July 2, 2018 / Reply

    This is seriously my ex!! Glad I found someone who plays my melody right

  • Sarah
    July 2, 2018 / Reply

    AMAZING. I feel like you have been reading my mind. Lol. Not lol. Also got me in the last stanza. You need to write more. Can defiantly see a bit of Taylor swift in you! And she is my favourite also

  • Andrew George
    July 2, 2018 / Reply

    Super insightful! 🙂

  • Mark
    July 2, 2018 / Reply

    Ngl don’t think anything I’ve ever read has actually felt like such a perfect representation of mine and my ex’s relationship haha. Even if I have to swap the genders

  • Sabokat
    July 2, 2018 / Reply

    So much truth, idk why someone can treat someone so sweet and loving so badly. Idk why they think it’s ok, and how dumb are they to let a good thing go. Totally their loss. This hits home

  • Rane
    July 2, 2018 / Reply

    This. after being constantly reminded from my wife that she could have anyone she wanted and she didn’t want or need me and threaten divorce over literally any disagreement she had. But something in me kept trying. Emotional abuse is real, people. I needed this. Thanks and wonderful job!

  • Mollie
    July 2, 2018 / Reply

    Amazingly worded. Love you so much!!

  • Clarissa
    July 6, 2018 / Reply

    This was great and exactly needed at this time. This guy disappeared on me for no reason and I’m hurt but trying to move forward and this was perfect. Thank you XOXO

  • Raleii
    July 6, 2018 / Reply

    This is really real and amazing! Love your words and can’t wait to read more

  • Daisymay
    July 6, 2018 / Reply

    That’s was fucking perfect.. thank you

  • Gangster Annie
    July 7, 2018 / Reply

    So perfect. Thank you for calling out these insecure narcissistic think their all that jerks. Im convinced that when they try to point out everything wrong with everyone else, its really the only time they have the courage to say what they feel about themselves.

  • christopher
    July 7, 2018 / Reply

    so happy you started doing this. from one person that feels things so intensely to the next…
    i can’t wait to read this every other sunday. ❤️

  • Faheem
    July 20, 2018 / Reply

    You just described my ex-wife to a T. At least we now know how to spot and avoid insecure ‘potential’ partners. Your life partner should only instill confidence in you and improve your self esteem, but our subconscious apparently chooses who we are attracted are we doomed?

  • Raquel
    August 12, 2018 / Reply

    I literally got goosebumps reading this Good because I’m not the only one who knows what all of this feels like and bad because someone else what all of this feels like. Simply incredible writing writing! It’s like you are in my head and heart. Just amazing!

  • Yadel
    August 12, 2018 / Reply

    You just described my ex boyfriend to a T. He’s a confused Virgo that keeps going back to his ex that cheated on him and physically abused him. Sometimes it’s hard looking back, but then i realized i was too good for him and he wasn’t ready.

    • Violet Benson
      August 18, 2018 / Reply

      This blog was inspired by a Virgo. Ha ha.