50 “Never Have I Evers” That Will Help You Spot The Most Sexually Experienced Person In Your Friend Group

November 25, 2016 by Violet Benson

1. Never have I ever slept with siblings.

2. Never have I ever repurposed a common household item as a sex toy.

3. Never have I ever slept with someone on account of their impressive social media following.

4. Never have I ever had to delete provocative email exchanges or text threads out of fear that my partner would find them.

5. Never have I ever hit on someone after spotting their wedding band.

6. Never have I ever fooled around with a really close friend just to see what it was like.

7. Never have I ever performed oral sex on someone without ever kissing them on the mouth.

8. Never have I ever called someone the wrong name while hooking up.

9. Never have I ever required medical attention because there was a foreign object stuck inside me.

10. Never have I ever had sex with someone I wasn’t attracted to because I wanted to get laid that badly.

11. Never have I ever blown a line of cocaine off of someone else’s body.

12. Never have I ever received a noise complaint immediately after sex.

13. Never have I ever had sex within view of unsuspecting onlookers on purpose.

14. Never have I ever paid for sex.

15. Never have I ever played with a vibrator during sex.

16. Never have I ever been unfaithful to a significant other.

17. Never have I ever given or received a purely sensual massage.

18. Never have I ever performed a striptease for someone.

19. Never have I ever had to ask someone whether or not we’d had sex because I wasn’t so sure.

20. Never have I ever given or received a lap dance.

21. Never have I ever accidentally had sex with a tampon still inside me (or the girl I was with).

22. Never have I ever slept with a friend’s parent.

23. Never have I ever fantasized about my best friend’s lover.

24. Never have I ever sexted with a colleague just for kicks.

25. Never have I ever slept with my boss to get ahead, or with a teacher to get a good grade.

26. Never have I ever been called a slut or a player—and kind of liked it.

27. Never have I ever had an STD scare.

28. Never have I ever had a finger in my ass.

29. Never have I ever had a threesome.

30. Never have I ever slept with a married person.

31. Never have I ever written out a list of the people I’ve slept with and been shocked by the total number.

32. Never have I ever had to lie about my “number” to avoid judgment.

33. Never have I ever fingered a woman (or been fingered) during a movie, in the back of a taxi, or on an airplane.

34. Never have I ever incorporated a condiment into lovemaking.

35. Never have I ever masturbated to pornography.

36. Never have I ever participated in role play.

37. Never have I ever surprised someone butt naked.

38. Never have I ever answered a blatant booty call—happily.

39. Never have I ever had to turn my phone off before going to sleep to avoid being woken up by a stream of booty calls.

40. Never have I ever woken up next to a total stranger.

41. Never have I ever gotten a happy ending.

42. Never have I ever eaten food off of someone’s naked body.

43. Never have I ever fooled around with two different people within twenty-four hours.

44. Never have I ever slept with twins.

45. Never have I ever had to do the walk of shame.

46. Never have I ever been watched having sex.

47. Never have I ever starfucked a celebrity.

48. Never have I ever experimented sexually with a member of the same sex.

49. Never have I ever said “I love you” just to get laid.

50. Never have I ever Googled “sex addiction.” 

This story originally appeared on ThoughtCatalog

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ONE COMMENT
  • John Doe
    January 8, 2017 / Reply

    Hey wondering if you’d like a guys perspective article. I don’t charge, have written for a few dating sites here in BC, honestly just like your vibe.

    Cheers