Girls don’t wake up randomly one morning thinking: “You know what would be super fun for my health!?! If I just acted super crazy until it completely drained me and ruined my day!”
No, that’s not something that happens. What does happen is that a boy who’s been making a girl feel special and loved one minute will suddenly flip a switch and change his entire attitude without warning. Naturally, this inexplicable behavior causes the girl to morph into a lost little puppy. Given the way she’s treated, the girl reacts in a reasonable manner but her actions are dismissed as “crazy.”
When I think “crazy,” I think of a girl who castrates her boyfriend in his sleep or keys his car. I don’t think of the girl who calls a guy who stood her up to see where he is, or the girl who gets upset because her boyfriend keeps dm’ing girls on Instagram whom he claims are “just friends.”
The word “crazy” is so overused that you could blink and a guy will say you’re crazy because you blinked too many times within one minute. Guys love the c-word because it’s the perfect answer for people who don’t want to take any responsibility for their actions. It’s much easier to call a girl crazy than to admit that you did something wrong, or—OMG, here’s a crazy idea—talk about your feelings.
After a while, we women start to accept this poor treatment from guys and internalize their bad behavior. We think it’s our fault that we’re humans who experience justifiable feelings: I must be crazy! I’m so lucky that my boyfriend puts up with me! No, Felicia—raise your hand and slap yourself in the face because you are being an idiot.
Below are 40 snippets from moments in my dating life when I was called crazy by a guy for expressing a very real emotion. I have a feeling you’ll relate!
1. I’m not being unreasonable, we’ve been dating for six months and I want to know where this is going.
2. I’m not a slut. You said you didn’t want to be exclusive so I’m keeping my options open.
3. I’m not jealous. You’re making out with another girl right in front of me and we had sex last night.
4. I’m not being needy, we had plans and you never showed up.
5. I’m not being aggressive. I called you once after we had sex and I haven’t heard from you in days.
6. I’m not a prude—threesomes are just not my thing.
7. I’m not a tease, but a family member died and I need some emotional support right now.
8. I’m not being frigid, I just had a really bad day and you don’t even care.
9. I’m not being difficult. I just don’t want to go clubbing for the third time this week because I just got my period, the cramps are killing me, and I feel like Shamu.
10. I’m not a bitch. I just won’t apologize for something that wasn’t my fault.
11. I’m not insecure, it just makes me uncomfortable that you keep talking about how hot my friends are.
12. I’m not possessive, I just don’t think you should be adding random girls on Instagram and hitting them up behind my back and flirting with them while lying to me about it when we’re supposed to be exclusive.
13. It’s not that I don’t trust you, it’s that you lied to me and it’s not the first time.
14. I’m not trying to be naggy, you just hurt my feelings and I want to talk about it so we can move forward.
15. No, I’m not on my period. But asking me if I am and telling me to chill out when I have every right to be upset will make me even angrier.
16. I’m not stupid, so why do you keep talking down to me like I am?
17. I’m not delusional, she’s calling you as we speak.
18. I’m not overreacting, you cheated on me and gave me HPV.
19. I’m not being overly sensitive—you dumped me on my birthday!
20. I’m not seeking attention by deleting you off of social media. We just broke up and you’re already posting pictures with another girl and it’s hurting me to see it.
21. I’m not closed off. I actually really like you but I’ve been hurt before so I’m being careful with my heart.
22. I’m not asking you to be my boyfriend, but it confuses me when you call me all day, want to see me all the time and spend the night, ask me about my past relationships, hold me at night, kiss me on my forehead, hold my hand, take me out, get jealous if any boys text me and want to know everything I’m up to.
23. I’m not overbearing. You’re the one who asked me to sleep over all week.
24. I’m not possessive, but we’re in the middle of dinner and you’re texting your old booty call, saying we have to end the night short because she’s going through some stuff and needs you.
25. I’m not being clingy, I just haven’t seen you in weeks and I miss you.
26. I’m not overthinking, it’s just that you face timed me for hours every night before bed when you were away, and when you were back in town for your birthday you invited me to some couple’s dinner that you brought another girl to.
27. I’m not too attached, you just made me feel special and then it hurt me to find out that there were other girls in the picture.
28. I’m not being immature, I’m just upset and need some space so I don’t say anything I’m going to regret.
29. I’m not obsessed. You’re just leading me on because you enjoy the attention but you secretly have no actual intent of pursuing a relationship.
30. I’m not a stalker. We’re in the same industry and hang in the same circle of friends. You’re at MY friend’s party with our mutual friend who happens to be MY best friend.
31. I’m not being petty. I blog about dating and relationships for a living so I have to do my job regardless of what we’re going through. How many times do I have to tell you that it’s not about you? (Except right now. Lol)
32. I’m not @Daddyissues_ the enhanced Instagram character I pretend to be online everyday and I really wish you cared enough to get to know the real me.
33. I’m not intense, I just really liked you and I thought we were on the same page. I never got the heads up about when you stopped feeling the same way.
34. I’m not out of line, I just think I deserved an explanation about why you stopped answering my calls and making an effort after we’d been inseparable for the past couple months.
35. I’m not mad, I’m just really hurt and I wish you cared enough to fix it.
36. I’m not trying to make you feel bad, I just feel humiliated for putting myself out there and then having my feelings dismissed.
37. I’m not an emotional wreck. I’m just a human with feelings who expresses herself differently than you do.
38. I’m not being dramatic. You’re just treating me like shit and I need to move on.
39. I’m not too much. Maybe you’re just not enough.
40. I’m not crazy, you’re just an asshole.